Can I please just talk about the Red, White & Royal Blue covers for a moment?
For context, this is the original English edition cover:
I was scrolling through trying to find the French cover, and most are just cute variations of the original cover like the Portuguese and Danish ones, or the Japanese one which is formatted differently but has the same colour scheme and some cool poses:
Then there’s Russia who absolutely went OFF on their cover my god:
Assignment misunderstood in the best possible way— the story is a rom com yet this right here makes it look like it’d be some sort of adventure-spy-action movie or smth.
isaac specifically saying that he reads tons of romance books and he knows what romance supposed to be like but he still doesn’t know how it’s supposed to feel in real life oh that’s a particularly brutal species of aroace pain that i understand deeply and i really want to hug him
At first, Ken feels indifferent towards the Schlond Poofa. The one that came with Barbie’s new car was just a piece of metal to him. After Barbie assembled the car, he carelessly tacked it on without much thought, in a rush to teach her how to drive.
When it fell off the car, Ken was mildly annoyed. Barbie drove off in such a hurry that he didn’t have time to question whether it fell off because he didn’t attach it properly and instead just decided to blame it for being a bad piece of equipment.
He shoved it back on without a second thought before replacing the car’s battery and after it crashed he realised that the Schlond Poofa wasn’t to blame. Still, he was annoyed that the car had crashed and threw it away the minute he got back to the Dreamhouse.
Tawny found the Schlond Poofa and decided to bring it with her to the reunion show. Ken grew quite fond of it after that, keeping it safe in his home.
When it got to the stage that Ken had ordered custom Schlond Poofa-printed bed sheets, Barbie decided that enough was enough.
She hid it where she thought nobody would ever find it - in her revolving countertops. Unfortunately for her, Midge stumbled across it during her first visit to the Dreamhouse.
Barbie relocated the Schlond Poofa to Stacie’s camping bag in the hopes that it would never be found. Stacie unknowingly threw it into the forest while looking for the Schnoggin Wrench and after the Bear drove away in their camper, Barbie forgot to go back to collect it.
Meanwhile, news of Ken’s obsession quickly spread around Malibu like wildfire. After “Me” and “Raquelle” both failed, Raquelle desperately called out “Schlond Poofa” in an attempt to correctly answer the question “who is the love of Ken’s life?” during the I’m Barbie’s BFF game show.
While the other dolls went out to get sherbet, Raquelle instead decided to read up on the Schlond Poofa in the Barbie-pedia that Ken had written. When she discovered just how passionate Ken was about the muffler, she decided to tell Barbie in the hopes that it would break them up.
It had the opposite effect on the sweet natured Barbie and she felt guilty about losing the Schlond Poofa in the woods. Wracked with guilt, she decided the only way to make it up to Ken was to get him the best anniversary present ever.
Luckily, she finds the limited edition golden Schlond Poofa available for purchase and decides the best way to pay back Ken is with a new car.
She welds the golden Schlond Poofa onto Ken’s car extra tight so that it won’t fall off like hers did. Ken is ecstatic with the gift and decides to give it a test drive right away.
Unfortunately, the Schlond Poofa falls off almost instantly and Ken is suddenly struck with the realisation that it was the Schlond Poofa’s fault for falling off Barbie’s car a year ago after all.
Despite all of this, Raquelle continues to use her newfound knowledge of the Schlond Poofa to train her new dog, Brunhilde Ursula von Schnozzle. She reveals the object’s language of origin, German.
Ok so honestly we all know the greatest oc brad wayne.
But imagine him and Damian. Yall imagine the sibling bonding!
Damian has had ✨️ canon growth✨️ and at the current comic age of 14/almost 15 he wouldn’t immediately attack a half sibling.
He would spar however
Lol imagine Brad boasting about Damian artist talents.
Imagine the brothers chilling 😎
Imagine the family pets gets all the snuggles.
IMAGINE BRAD GIVING DAMIAN ROMANCE ADVICE .
IMAGINE BRAD MEETING EARTH 2 HELENA WAYNE WHO SPENT A SOLID HOUR CRYING WHILE HOLDING HER PRECIOUS BABY BROTHER DAMIAN(yes I’m bitter she never found out Damian was revived) and the three of them go to wayne enterprise to harass bruce lol.
Concept: Brad Wayne but he (accidentally) becomes a vigilante
Okay, I bet we’ve all realized by now that all of Bruce’s kids—with or without his own intervention—pick up the mantle of helping people at some point in their lives. Dick would’ve fought his parents’ killer with or without Bruce, Jason would’ve helped those in poverty and awful situations no matter what, Tim is batshit and was stalking Batman when he was a child, Steph was spoiler before meeting him, Cass was orphan when they met, etc.
I’m also sure there are enough stories out there irl of helpful himbos for a children’s movie to be made, but picture the two worlds colliding
- Brad is a sweet—albeit very stupid—guy who draws conclusions for things that are incorrect but well intentioned
- He’s a total frat bro, meaning he either lives in or near a fraternity and therefore near a sorority. In Gotham.
- One night he tries to get wasted but his liver is just genetically built different (thanks Bruce) so it fails and he ends up being the emotional backbone of this group of ACTUALLY wasted sorority girls who start complaining or crying about the experiences they’ve had as young women in Gotham
- He’s like “wait that’s actually so fucked . I’m going to walk you guys home so you don’t have to go through that . What if the scarecrow gropes you or something idk that guy what if he’s freaky like that” and thus he becomes their chaperone
- Soon he realizes that these girls have boyfriends (uh oh!) and he doesnt want them getting the wrong idea…so he befriends all their boyfriends and starts walking their boyfriends home too cause the city isn’t safe for anyone
- He very quickly realizes he is Suspicious and some guys just don’t want their girls walking home with some dude (as if they can’t do it themselves, Gotham guys suck) and decides to disguise himself as that’s the most logical conclusion to him
- We know where this goes.
- Soon he’s out after a night of not being able to get drunk and walking some people home when he comes across a crime and very smartly goes, “hey wait, that’s illegal! I’m gonna flip your shit!” And then he does because he’s built like a tank and can do like 4 keg stands without passing out
- Pretty soon, Brad Wayne is a vigilante. No, he does not become any smarter, and no that does not stop him.
Brad: Parties in Gotham are on a different level, dude. I must have missed it on the invitation but one of the parties I went to was gas masked themed. Everyone was like super committed to the theme and kept giving me weird looks when they saw I hadn’t brought one.
Dick: Was it back in January, when Scarecrow escaped?
Brad: Um, now that you mentioned it, yeah.
Jason: Then it wasn’t a theme. The news read off one of Crane’s gas threats. Smart that they all brought their gas masks. Dumb as shit that they still went out.
Brad: Are you joshing me right now?
Jason: No. Why didn’t you bring your gas mask? Didn’t you get the alert on your phone?
Brad: Yeah. I thought they were joking. Like early April fools?
